Hey gang,
'Crush' by David Archuletta is playing through my ear phones as I type this out. Don't ask. I've just been feeling a little mellow for the last couple of hours.
So I've decided to sing, 'Six Feet Under The Stars' by All Time Low for tomorrow's audition (though how I'm going to sing with a cough and sore throat beats me, its the only song that doesn't really strain my voice at the moment) and I'm currently looking for a poem to read as well. Though frustratingly enough, I can't find for any decent ones.
I love Shakespeare but I can never keep a straight face on if I read it out loud.
So the worst case scenario would be, I'll just take a poem from Daniel Humphrey of Gossip Girl.
Yes, yes, yes.
Because I adore his poems (even though Daniel is a fictional character).
Mel ditched me during PE today so I was forced to do long jump on my own since my other partner-in-crime was MIA as well today (*glances at Trisher*).
Physics was okay, I could actually do the questions this time around. Speaking of Physics, there's extra class tomorrow.
No, I don't have any little desire to drag myself to tuition tomorrow but I know I'll have to if I'm even hoping to pass Physics and Chemistry exams next week.
Moving on from sad thoughts (exams, exams, EXAMS). Mira made me smile today. (:
She lent me her copy of AP magazine with ATL on the cover which made me jump up and down like a maniac in class (can you see the psycho grin on my face right now?). Although it got 'stolen' from me for a couple of minutes by Baizura because she saw The Maine on the back cover. Well, I've got to admit it, John O' is super fit but no one can replace the Prince of Persia on the front cover *nudge nudge*.
Oh dear God, Alex Gaskarth is the true definition of sexy.
Mira also made me cry today (woman, you're like my mood ring or something *raises an eyebrow*). She sent me her story and it's just...........amazing.
It's way better than anything I could write. ;')
I'm so proud of her.
Randomly enough, 'Holly (Would You Turn Me On)' by ATL, reminds me of Melissa Koay. T.T
Eh, Mel. What la....
Anyway, had Add Maths tuition in the afternoon. Uhm..... No comments. I love maths. Be it modern maths or add maths but the frustrating part is I can't seem to get the formulas in my head.
My calculator is my new best friend. (:
Note to self: Change calculator batteries before exams.
Later Days,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "The Beach" by All Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: Coughing like an old lady + touched + slightly drowsy
Friday, 27 February 2009
Thursday, 26 February 2009
Vans or Converse? NIKE!
Hey peeps,
My life is currently revolving around Add Maths, Modern Maths, Biology, History, Chemistry, Physics, All-Time Low and We The Kings. The latter probably doesn't fit but let me explain the current situation: Exams are next week and I need my daily fixture of All Time Low/any band that I'm in love at the moment which would be We The Kings, or I will explode.
Although, I'm not going to go on hiatus because I don't see the point of it. I mean, the Internet is practically like my boyfriend right now (at least it's more dependable than all my exes!). Anyways, I didn't go to school today. For some reason, when I woke up, my entire body was screaming in pain. Like muscle cramps everywhere. Well set aside the fact that I'm also sick again.
I knew I shouldn't have walked in the rain on Monday. T.T
The muscles on my stomach hurt every time I cough which is about as fun as getting a tetanus shot (not that I've gotten mine yet because I missed the day in school, but everyone said that the pain was freakin' b****in').
I spent the day trying to understand Add Maths chapter 2, not that I got very far, but Mel! Be proud of me. (:
I missed you today.
And everyone else in school.
Oh yes, I'm trying to learn a couple of new dance moves as well (okay fine, I should be studying but still!) for an audition as well as being prepared for when Sandra and I finally find a day we can practice for IU Day's performance.
Aaarrrgghhh.....
There's add maths tuition tomorrow and I still haven't bought the book! And we have homework in it.
Sash, how?
So I've been staring at Lilian's blog header, I love it so much. (:
And listening to All Time Low's 'Shameless' over and over again. I don't know why but when Alex sings, "I walk a thin line between the right and the real. They watch me closely but talk is cheap here.", I start thinking about all the times I say 'I love you'.
Yes, those three special words.
To some, they think I'm lying. That I'm just tossing the word around like some sort of flying Frisbee.
I'm not, I can assure you.
Yes, I do have my share of bad relationships where I might've said those words, but it just means, I loved you then. I loved you at that specific moment at the time. So you can't say I was lying. Because I did love you.
Although, if I constantly say it to you, then I think that point should stand....I do love you.
Its when the 'I love you's' stop.....
That's when you should be afraid.
Laters,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Vegas" by All Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: Sticky + tired + sick
My life is currently revolving around Add Maths, Modern Maths, Biology, History, Chemistry, Physics, All-Time Low and We The Kings. The latter probably doesn't fit but let me explain the current situation: Exams are next week and I need my daily fixture of All Time Low/any band that I'm in love at the moment which would be We The Kings, or I will explode.
Although, I'm not going to go on hiatus because I don't see the point of it. I mean, the Internet is practically like my boyfriend right now (at least it's more dependable than all my exes!). Anyways, I didn't go to school today. For some reason, when I woke up, my entire body was screaming in pain. Like muscle cramps everywhere. Well set aside the fact that I'm also sick again.
I knew I shouldn't have walked in the rain on Monday. T.T
The muscles on my stomach hurt every time I cough which is about as fun as getting a tetanus shot (not that I've gotten mine yet because I missed the day in school, but everyone said that the pain was freakin' b****in').
I spent the day trying to understand Add Maths chapter 2, not that I got very far, but Mel! Be proud of me. (:
I missed you today.
And everyone else in school.
Oh yes, I'm trying to learn a couple of new dance moves as well (okay fine, I should be studying but still!) for an audition as well as being prepared for when Sandra and I finally find a day we can practice for IU Day's performance.
Aaarrrgghhh.....
There's add maths tuition tomorrow and I still haven't bought the book! And we have homework in it.
Sash, how?
So I've been staring at Lilian's blog header, I love it so much. (:
And listening to All Time Low's 'Shameless' over and over again. I don't know why but when Alex sings, "I walk a thin line between the right and the real. They watch me closely but talk is cheap here.", I start thinking about all the times I say 'I love you'.
Yes, those three special words.
To some, they think I'm lying. That I'm just tossing the word around like some sort of flying Frisbee.
I'm not, I can assure you.
Yes, I do have my share of bad relationships where I might've said those words, but it just means, I loved you then. I loved you at that specific moment at the time. So you can't say I was lying. Because I did love you.
Although, if I constantly say it to you, then I think that point should stand....I do love you.
Its when the 'I love you's' stop.....
That's when you should be afraid.
Laters,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Vegas" by All Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: Sticky + tired + sick
Monday, 23 February 2009
A Smile For Your Scrapbook
Yo,
Just got back from Phys/Chem tuition. Literally. I'm sleepy and hungry and I ate dinner at 5pm. They're doing urinary tests in school.
I don't like the idea of pissing in a cup. So no, thank you.
Anyway, there's extra Phys/Chem tuition on Saturday (there goes a perfect afternoon). Did a Civic project today (lol. Mira, you should know...and no problem).
Had Sukantara today, it rained so it was canceled half-way but I managed to finish long jump. Wheee....
I saw Myra today finally and gave her a hug. I miss hugging her.
I want to dance for Sri Aman's IU Day.
La la la...
Exams are next week and I'm so not prepared.
Was going up the stairs to tuition when I met Brandon standing at the stairwell, smiling and looking like the killer clown from 'Are You Afraid Of The Dark?'.
Sean thought me a Scout's song he learnt during camp from a couple of Taman Sea people!
(:
And damn it, it is addictive. I had it in my head all through out Chemistry and Physics so, thanks Sean. :P
Things have gotten really complicated these days and I'm not sure how to phrase it. *sighs*
Two crushes and no where near to getting any of them.
I should just give up and crawl under a rock.
Laters,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Holly (Would You Turn Me On)" by All Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: Tired + sleepy + hungry
Just got back from Phys/Chem tuition. Literally. I'm sleepy and hungry and I ate dinner at 5pm. They're doing urinary tests in school.
WTFLYING FRYING PANS?!?!
I don't like the idea of pissing in a cup. So no, thank you.
Anyway, there's extra Phys/Chem tuition on Saturday (there goes a perfect afternoon). Did a Civic project today (lol. Mira, you should know...and no problem).
Had Sukantara today, it rained so it was canceled half-way but I managed to finish long jump. Wheee....
I saw Myra today finally and gave her a hug. I miss hugging her.
I want to dance for Sri Aman's IU Day.
La la la...
Exams are next week and I'm so not prepared.
Was going up the stairs to tuition when I met Brandon standing at the stairwell, smiling and looking like the killer clown from 'Are You Afraid Of The Dark?'.
Sean thought me a Scout's song he learnt during camp from a couple of Taman Sea people!
(:
And damn it, it is addictive. I had it in my head all through out Chemistry and Physics so, thanks Sean. :P
Things have gotten really complicated these days and I'm not sure how to phrase it. *sighs*
Two crushes and no where near to getting any of them.
I should just give up and crawl under a rock.
Laters,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Holly (Would You Turn Me On)" by All Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: Tired + sleepy + hungry
Sunday, 22 February 2009
C'mon KJ Would You Turn Me On?
HELLO WORLD!!!
No, no.
I'm alive.
Yes, yes!
No, don't deny.
First up, I would like to say,
"MAHIRAH FARHANA I MISS YOU LA WOMAN HOW COME I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO YOU PROPERLY IN 2 WEEKS?!?!?!"
Okay, glad to get that off my chest. (:
So this past week has been the most....uhm...busiest week ever. That sounded super lame for some reason. ANYWAY, it was so shut up.
I've finally gotten my Add Maths tuition (yay me!) and I just realized how blur I am when it comes to inverse composites but I think I get it. I finally understand why Mr. Cheah drew that Nike-like function at the front of the class anyway.
Sash and I made a McFly video on YouTube. It's in my account. If you're reading this and you haven't seen it yet, go and watch it or I will personally go and burn your home down. *cue evil laughter*
My Uncle came back from UK on Friday. He came over to my house yesterday and like Santa Claus, gave me the two things I've been waiting for since.....since the birth of Alex Gaskarth.
o.O
OH HELL TO THE FREAKIN' YESSSS!!!!!!!
:D
I was reading the front cover when I realized it wrote: 'ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: Unauthorized duplicators will have their homes burned down by the band.'
Which made me laugh like a crazy freak because I was seriously not expecting that.
Anyway, I've been listening to the album over and over and over again, the voices in my head are beginning to sound like Alex now. Which is sort of freaky considering...well....
It's just freaky.
But the album wasn't the only thing that Santa Claus brought me....
Zoom in on that particularly awesome digital camera in my hand. (:
Sandra, Mel, Divya, Myra, Bai, Sash and Trish....
I think you guys knew how retarded my old camera was, with its favourite habit of eating AA batteries like it was mash potato or something. So this baby is a God send because it doesn't use those alkaline batteries, it has 2GB memory space (yes, Myra, you're phone beats my camera and phone any day BUT if I join my phone's memory and camera memory, it'll be 4GB too!), it has 10 megapixels, it's shock proof so I don't have to worry about dropping it (considering the huge klutz that I am) and the best part is....ITS WATERPROOF.
Oh yes, I can take pictures in the rain and be all romantic. LOL.
I smell food. No, I haven't had dinner yet. Maybe I should.
Hmmm...
Anyways, I should also probably start on that Biology experiment and English essay.
Something tells me I'm not going to sleep properly tonight.
Later Days,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "This Is How We Do" by All-Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: Hungry + worried
No, no.
I'm alive.
Yes, yes!
No, don't deny.
First up, I would like to say,
"MAHIRAH FARHANA I MISS YOU LA WOMAN HOW COME I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO YOU PROPERLY IN 2 WEEKS?!?!?!"
Okay, glad to get that off my chest. (:
So this past week has been the most....uhm...busiest week ever. That sounded super lame for some reason. ANYWAY, it was so shut up.
I've finally gotten my Add Maths tuition (yay me!) and I just realized how blur I am when it comes to inverse composites but I think I get it. I finally understand why Mr. Cheah drew that Nike-like function at the front of the class anyway.
Sash and I made a McFly video on YouTube. It's in my account. If you're reading this and you haven't seen it yet, go and watch it or I will personally go and burn your home down. *cue evil laughter*
My Uncle came back from UK on Friday. He came over to my house yesterday and like Santa Claus, gave me the two things I've been waiting for since.....since the birth of Alex Gaskarth.
o.O
OH HELL TO THE FREAKIN' YESSSS!!!!!!!
:D
I was reading the front cover when I realized it wrote: 'ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: Unauthorized duplicators will have their homes burned down by the band.'
Which made me laugh like a crazy freak because I was seriously not expecting that.
Anyway, I've been listening to the album over and over and over again, the voices in my head are beginning to sound like Alex now. Which is sort of freaky considering...well....
It's just freaky.
But the album wasn't the only thing that Santa Claus brought me....
Zoom in on that particularly awesome digital camera in my hand. (:
Sandra, Mel, Divya, Myra, Bai, Sash and Trish....
I think you guys knew how retarded my old camera was, with its favourite habit of eating AA batteries like it was mash potato or something. So this baby is a God send because it doesn't use those alkaline batteries, it has 2GB memory space (yes, Myra, you're phone beats my camera and phone any day BUT if I join my phone's memory and camera memory, it'll be 4GB too!), it has 10 megapixels, it's shock proof so I don't have to worry about dropping it (considering the huge klutz that I am) and the best part is....ITS WATERPROOF.
Oh yes, I can take pictures in the rain and be all romantic. LOL.
I smell food. No, I haven't had dinner yet. Maybe I should.
Hmmm...
Anyways, I should also probably start on that Biology experiment and English essay.
Something tells me I'm not going to sleep properly tonight.
Later Days,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "This Is How We Do" by All-Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: Hungry + worried
Tuesday, 17 February 2009
Dedication Takes A Lifetime
Hello dears,
School was hell-ish. As predicted.
Sash didn't come today unexpectedly so I had to hitch a ride with Baizura who had gym in the afternoon. I finally met the infamous Uncle Shariff and Uncle Jacq. Oh dear God....Uncle Jacq.
I don't want to say anything because I'm so annoyed with myself and everything about me.
He.
Is.
Gorgeous.
GRAWR.
Anyway, I finished most of my Biology and Chemistry worksheets. I've done one of the reports for Bio as well. So that just leaves the other report, a bit of Modern Maths, a heck lot of Add Maths and an English essay.
Oh yes, not forgetting the BM stuff I'm supposed to read up on.
But I made a mistake of taking my knock out flu medicine so I'm beginning to get drowsy now. My senses are already slipping in and out.
I'm planning to do a schedule for myself, in hopes that I'd be able to manage my time better. No seriously...
I really need to study for the March exams (there's a high possibility I might fail for Add Maths and Bio).
And I think I've been gaining some unwanted weight so that means I need to fit in some exercise time somewhere. I'm planning to wake up earlier than usual so that I'll have time to do my warm-ups and go for a bit of a run on my treadmill.
Yes, I do own a treadmill, surprisingly enough.
OH MY FREAKING GOD WHY CAN'T THOSE THREE PEOPLE GET OUT OF MY HEAD?!?! NO I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT YOU. STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT!!!
Why won't they go away?
Why do I have to be so obviously infatuated by them?
Why?
God dammit.
Trying to climb up the ladder,
But I'm handcuffed to the bottom,
Need to use the keys,
But you're the only one who's got 'em.
Later Days,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "24 Story Love Affair" by Faber Drive
CURRENT MOOD: Infatuated + drowsy
School was hell-ish. As predicted.
Sash didn't come today unexpectedly so I had to hitch a ride with Baizura who had gym in the afternoon. I finally met the infamous Uncle Shariff and Uncle Jacq. Oh dear God....Uncle Jacq.
I don't want to say anything because I'm so annoyed with myself and everything about me.
He.
Is.
Gorgeous.
GRAWR.
Anyway, I finished most of my Biology and Chemistry worksheets. I've done one of the reports for Bio as well. So that just leaves the other report, a bit of Modern Maths, a heck lot of Add Maths and an English essay.
Oh yes, not forgetting the BM stuff I'm supposed to read up on.
But I made a mistake of taking my knock out flu medicine so I'm beginning to get drowsy now. My senses are already slipping in and out.
I'm planning to do a schedule for myself, in hopes that I'd be able to manage my time better. No seriously...
I really need to study for the March exams (there's a high possibility I might fail for Add Maths and Bio).
And I think I've been gaining some unwanted weight so that means I need to fit in some exercise time somewhere. I'm planning to wake up earlier than usual so that I'll have time to do my warm-ups and go for a bit of a run on my treadmill.
Yes, I do own a treadmill, surprisingly enough.
OH MY FREAKING GOD WHY CAN'T THOSE THREE PEOPLE GET OUT OF MY HEAD?!?! NO I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT YOU. STOP IT. STOP IT. STOP IT!!!
Why won't they go away?
Why do I have to be so obviously infatuated by them?
Why?
God dammit.
Trying to climb up the ladder,
But I'm handcuffed to the bottom,
Need to use the keys,
But you're the only one who's got 'em.
Later Days,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "24 Story Love Affair" by Faber Drive
CURRENT MOOD: Infatuated + drowsy
Monday, 16 February 2009
As The Blue Lights Bathe Our Smiles
Hi people,
So its.... *yawn* 11 something. I still need to take my 'sedative' (otherwise known as my flu med) before I'm officially knocked out.
School tomorrow. Not so nice after four days of total bliss (well, minus sniffling, coughing and sore throat). Biology is first up tomorrow and I don't think I can trust myself to concentrate in class. =/
The bright side is, I got my new glasses so my vision is sharper. BUT, because I've been so used to my old glasses, these new ones feel like....
I CAN SEE EVERYTHING.
Lol.
It makes me wonder how I used to survive last time.
I missed Chemistry tuition earlier because Mum had a meeting and couldn't pick me up on time. T.T
I'm bad as it is in Chemistry, I think I need all the help that I can get.
I shudder to think about Add Maths. But okay...moving on. I was in time for Physics though which is a good thing since I really don't pay attention in school.
I don't know why, I just...can't.
So really, I'm just depending on Miss Nirmala to get me through March exams which is *eeeeeeep!!!!* on the first week of March. Which is, when you think of it...2 weeks from now.
Damn.
It.
Latest picture. :D
I didn't feel like uploading it onto Facebook. Well, yet anyway....
In retrospect, last year was more carefree than this year. As seen in the above picture. LOL. Climbing trees!
Note to self: Bring MC tomorrow. Photostat one copy.
Later Days,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Stay Awake (Dreams Only Last For A Night)" by All Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: shoulder pain + sleepy + hyper
So its.... *yawn* 11 something. I still need to take my 'sedative' (otherwise known as my flu med) before I'm officially knocked out.
School tomorrow. Not so nice after four days of total bliss (well, minus sniffling, coughing and sore throat). Biology is first up tomorrow and I don't think I can trust myself to concentrate in class. =/
The bright side is, I got my new glasses so my vision is sharper. BUT, because I've been so used to my old glasses, these new ones feel like....
I CAN SEE EVERYTHING.
Lol.
It makes me wonder how I used to survive last time.
I missed Chemistry tuition earlier because Mum had a meeting and couldn't pick me up on time. T.T
I'm bad as it is in Chemistry, I think I need all the help that I can get.
I shudder to think about Add Maths. But okay...moving on. I was in time for Physics though which is a good thing since I really don't pay attention in school.
I don't know why, I just...can't.
So really, I'm just depending on Miss Nirmala to get me through March exams which is *eeeeeeep!!!!* on the first week of March. Which is, when you think of it...2 weeks from now.
Damn.
It.
Latest picture. :D
I didn't feel like uploading it onto Facebook. Well, yet anyway....
In retrospect, last year was more carefree than this year. As seen in the above picture. LOL. Climbing trees!
Note to self: Bring MC tomorrow. Photostat one copy.
Later Days,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Stay Awake (Dreams Only Last For A Night)" by All Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: shoulder pain + sleepy + hyper
Sunday, 15 February 2009
Of Screen Names (:
Hey people,
Random post. Check out what happens when mine, Mira's and Mel's screen names are put together. :D
Recognize it yet?
LOL
Laters,
Tash.
Random post. Check out what happens when mine, Mira's and Mel's screen names are put together. :D
Recognize it yet?
LOL
Laters,
Tash.
So Follow Me Down
Hi gang,
My stomach is currently filled with antibiotics, cough medicine, flu medicine and I'm drowsy as hell. Jack Barakat is actually beginning to look like Alex Gaskarth to me and Alex is beginning to look like....Jack.
Whoa.
Told you I'm drowsy.
Spent the whole day writing fanfiction (oh, yes. I'm a geek). Got an MC from the She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. *cue thunder*
OMG.
Drowsy as Hell. Those medication really kicks in fast. Mmmm...
NEW SU ANN I MISS YOU TOO LA.
Chatting to people on WLM.
I love you Mel. (:
I love you too, Trish. LOL.
I got my new glasses today. It's blue and black. It's awesome. Okay, well I can't really type much. My stomach feels like its on fire from too many medications and I'm about as stoned as a....stone.
I really don't like flu pills. T.T
Goodnight and sweet dreams my darlings.
Oh and I love him too. :D
Later Days,
Tash.
P/s: I have 'curvy blue penis' in my head thanks to Mira and Alex.
CURRENT SONG: "Dear Maria Count Me In" by All Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: Sleepy
My stomach is currently filled with antibiotics, cough medicine, flu medicine and I'm drowsy as hell. Jack Barakat is actually beginning to look like Alex Gaskarth to me and Alex is beginning to look like....Jack.
Whoa.
Told you I'm drowsy.
Spent the whole day writing fanfiction (oh, yes. I'm a geek). Got an MC from the She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. *cue thunder*
OMG.
Drowsy as Hell. Those medication really kicks in fast. Mmmm...
NEW SU ANN I MISS YOU TOO LA.
Chatting to people on WLM.
I love you Mel. (:
I love you too, Trish. LOL.
I got my new glasses today. It's blue and black. It's awesome. Okay, well I can't really type much. My stomach feels like its on fire from too many medications and I'm about as stoned as a....stone.
I really don't like flu pills. T.T
Goodnight and sweet dreams my darlings.
Oh and I love him too. :D
Later Days,
Tash.
P/s: I have 'curvy blue penis' in my head thanks to Mira and Alex.
CURRENT SONG: "Dear Maria Count Me In" by All Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: Sleepy
Friday, 13 February 2009
Don't Say You're Never Gonna Leave Me
'Has blown up your walls again,
Your lies are all part of your intellect-...'
There is something oddly soothing about Dougie's voice in the darkness of my room. I couldn't sleep last night for some reason despite only getting like two hours of sleep for the last three days thanks to....
Well yeah.
Efforts that proved pointless.
Anyway, I can practically hear Taylor's voice filled with concerned and annoyance.
"For the last time Tash, stop being childish and go see a doctor."
I like hospitals, oddly enough. There's something about them that calms me. Now if we could minus my fear of the morgues, then I think I would happily move in.
So I hacked up something nasty in the wee hours of the morning which made Mum give authority for me to skip school today.
Good.
I didn't think I could meet anyone today without crumbling into pieces.
Although despite my fierce intensity to avoid everyone I know, I can't help missing those few people I haven't seen in almost a week or two.
I miss Myra. I haven't seen her in almost a week. I miss being in the same class as her, talking about random stuff, laughing and singing McFly songs together.
I miss Divya. I miss her motherly concern. I miss her hugs. She seems to be the only I can hug without feeling weird. Without feeling that I'm going to be rejected.
I miss Sandra, Melissa K, Baizura, Sash, Lat, Megan, Mae, Mira, Lydiya, Crazy Daisy, Yazmin, Rianne, Nima and all those people who made me feel somewhat human despite going through some melodramatic emotional battle inside myself.
I spent the day locked up in my room, writing a Harry Potter fan fiction. I honestly needed a break from my normal fanfictions and thought the best way was to resurrect my old Harry Potter fanfiction which had been around since I was thirteen.
Sandra, remember that one?
Yes, its called, 'To Love Or Not To Love' and it already has about seventeen chapters. I watched, 21 after that and swooned over Aaron Yoo's impossible hotness all over again.
Mum called to check up on me and since I haven't spoken to anyone the entire day, my voice came out sounding something that would've probably made Darth Vader to crumble with shame.
So uhm..yeah. That's it basically. This update was just to assure several people that I haven't gone off the edge and killed myself in a fit of suicidal darkness.
I've been down that road once and its a place I don't want to be in again.
At least if I can help it.
Later days,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Going Through The Motions" by McFly
CURRENT MOOD: Tired + worn out
Your lies are all part of your intellect-...'
There is something oddly soothing about Dougie's voice in the darkness of my room. I couldn't sleep last night for some reason despite only getting like two hours of sleep for the last three days thanks to....
Well yeah.
Efforts that proved pointless.
Anyway, I can practically hear Taylor's voice filled with concerned and annoyance.
"For the last time Tash, stop being childish and go see a doctor."
I like hospitals, oddly enough. There's something about them that calms me. Now if we could minus my fear of the morgues, then I think I would happily move in.
So I hacked up something nasty in the wee hours of the morning which made Mum give authority for me to skip school today.
Good.
I didn't think I could meet anyone today without crumbling into pieces.
Although despite my fierce intensity to avoid everyone I know, I can't help missing those few people I haven't seen in almost a week or two.
I miss Myra. I haven't seen her in almost a week. I miss being in the same class as her, talking about random stuff, laughing and singing McFly songs together.
I miss Divya. I miss her motherly concern. I miss her hugs. She seems to be the only I can hug without feeling weird. Without feeling that I'm going to be rejected.
I miss Sandra, Melissa K, Baizura, Sash, Lat, Megan, Mae, Mira, Lydiya, Crazy Daisy, Yazmin, Rianne, Nima and all those people who made me feel somewhat human despite going through some melodramatic emotional battle inside myself.
I spent the day locked up in my room, writing a Harry Potter fan fiction. I honestly needed a break from my normal fanfictions and thought the best way was to resurrect my old Harry Potter fanfiction which had been around since I was thirteen.
Sandra, remember that one?
Yes, its called, 'To Love Or Not To Love' and it already has about seventeen chapters. I watched, 21 after that and swooned over Aaron Yoo's impossible hotness all over again.
Mum called to check up on me and since I haven't spoken to anyone the entire day, my voice came out sounding something that would've probably made Darth Vader to crumble with shame.
So uhm..yeah. That's it basically. This update was just to assure several people that I haven't gone off the edge and killed myself in a fit of suicidal darkness.
I've been down that road once and its a place I don't want to be in again.
At least if I can help it.
Later days,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Going Through The Motions" by McFly
CURRENT MOOD: Tired + worn out
Thursday, 12 February 2009
Forever Hold Your Peace in Pieces
Herein on the 12th of February 2009, was the final nail on the coffin for Natasha's hopes and happiness.
Less that two hours ago, the pathologists had confirmed the authenticity of the death.
There were a number of things related to the cause of death but it is believed that it was this combination of things that had forced Natasha's hopes and happiness to an early death.
First would be the strains of everyday life. Having no one to turn to for fear of burdening them, it was kept within herself. One of her best friend (whom was also stressing) looked at her as an object of trust, someone to tell every single minor detail to, to confide and vent her frustrations upon.
Natasha's hopes and happiness took it all in, absorbing every single stressful detail of her friend's life and subconsciously, making it a part of her own life.
Natasha's hopes and happiness also had a secret desire to be loved by this certain someone. 8 months later, still nothing had progressed. In fact, the 'certain someone' had even forgotten her in the last four months when they did not see each other. This was a deep blow to Natasha's hopes and happiness, leaving it in an even more frail and fragile state than before.
Still, she kept on listening to her best friend. Taking in the burden of what wasn't even her own problems.
She was lacking behind in her homework. In her studies.
In class she could not concentrate.
Natasha's hopes and happiness used to keep her strong but because of the reason above, there was a gap. A hole which kept growing and growing.
Then of course, there was today. When Natasha's hopes and happiness took an even bigger bullet. Shattering right in front of her eyes, they turned to dust.
Frustration, anger, depression, sadness combined with a sense of loneliness eventually consumed Natasha's hopes and happiness.
They didn't stand a chance.
They were never given a chance.
Now, may they rest in pieces.
Less that two hours ago, the pathologists had confirmed the authenticity of the death.
There were a number of things related to the cause of death but it is believed that it was this combination of things that had forced Natasha's hopes and happiness to an early death.
First would be the strains of everyday life. Having no one to turn to for fear of burdening them, it was kept within herself. One of her best friend (whom was also stressing) looked at her as an object of trust, someone to tell every single minor detail to, to confide and vent her frustrations upon.
Natasha's hopes and happiness took it all in, absorbing every single stressful detail of her friend's life and subconsciously, making it a part of her own life.
Natasha's hopes and happiness also had a secret desire to be loved by this certain someone. 8 months later, still nothing had progressed. In fact, the 'certain someone' had even forgotten her in the last four months when they did not see each other. This was a deep blow to Natasha's hopes and happiness, leaving it in an even more frail and fragile state than before.
Still, she kept on listening to her best friend. Taking in the burden of what wasn't even her own problems.
She was lacking behind in her homework. In her studies.
In class she could not concentrate.
Natasha's hopes and happiness used to keep her strong but because of the reason above, there was a gap. A hole which kept growing and growing.
Then of course, there was today. When Natasha's hopes and happiness took an even bigger bullet. Shattering right in front of her eyes, they turned to dust.
Frustration, anger, depression, sadness combined with a sense of loneliness eventually consumed Natasha's hopes and happiness.
They didn't stand a chance.
They were never given a chance.
Now, may they rest in pieces.
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
It's So Right, It's WRONG!
Hey gang,
First, I would like to apologise for the dark and angsty post I had written down there.
The side effects of chronic loneliness.
T.T
Anyway, I never realized how many times I actually say the word 'right' in my sentence until it was pointed out yesterday during debate practice. It's almost like some sort of retarded defense mechanism. Whenever I have nothing else to say, or when I'm trying to link a sentence to something else, I'll take this meaningful pause and then say, "Right?"
Well, it's either "Right?" or "And yeah..."
A stupid flaw in my speech which I'm trying to correct so bear with me. After all, I'm still a recovering 'swearaholic'. (:
I've decided to climb off my righteous high horse and just go on loving Dougie Poynter. NOT that I ever stopped loving him, it was just too painful to even look at his face. Much less write fanfictions, fantasize and all sorts of other random stuff.
Besides, I was dying without my daily dosage of McFly music.
So I hope this answers your question, Latifah. (:
Like I could ever throw six years of my life down the drain because of some Victoria Beckham wannabe. Pfffttt....
As if.
I have somehow aquired Fran Fine's voice from The Nanny. Divya gave me this look and went, "You lost your voice!"
-___-'
Yes and with this voice, I shall be debating!
Don't you love the irony? On the plus side though, I can finally perfect Fran's, "Oh Mr. Shefield..."
I miss my friends.
Ah crap it. Debate points to look up and homework to do. =/
Later days,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Too Close For Comfort" by McFly
CURRENT MOOD: Wiped Out
First, I would like to apologise for the dark and angsty post I had written down there.
The side effects of chronic loneliness.
T.T
Anyway, I never realized how many times I actually say the word 'right' in my sentence until it was pointed out yesterday during debate practice. It's almost like some sort of retarded defense mechanism. Whenever I have nothing else to say, or when I'm trying to link a sentence to something else, I'll take this meaningful pause and then say, "Right?"
Well, it's either "Right?" or "And yeah..."
A stupid flaw in my speech which I'm trying to correct so bear with me. After all, I'm still a recovering 'swearaholic'. (:
I've decided to climb off my righteous high horse and just go on loving Dougie Poynter. NOT that I ever stopped loving him, it was just too painful to even look at his face. Much less write fanfictions, fantasize and all sorts of other random stuff.
Besides, I was dying without my daily dosage of McFly music.
So I hope this answers your question, Latifah. (:
Like I could ever throw six years of my life down the drain because of some Victoria Beckham wannabe. Pfffttt....
As if.
I have somehow aquired Fran Fine's voice from The Nanny. Divya gave me this look and went, "You lost your voice!"
-___-'
Yes and with this voice, I shall be debating!
Don't you love the irony? On the plus side though, I can finally perfect Fran's, "Oh Mr. Shefield..."
I miss my friends.
Ah crap it. Debate points to look up and homework to do. =/
Later days,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Too Close For Comfort" by McFly
CURRENT MOOD: Wiped Out
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
Violent Frustration
She sat in the car, her fingers trembling hopelessly against the seatbelt, the earphones in her ears blaring what seemed like clumsy words strung together in a melody, her heart beating inconsistently as her veins ran hot fire and her lips quivered indignantly.
Her eyes were dark with silent fury and resentment.
The car came to a stop and the woman beside her got out of the car, slamming the door with such force that the coins in the car rattled.
She sat there for a couple of minutes, the music still in her ears. But she didn't hear them. All she heard was the echo of the coins in her head. Tear drops fled from her dark eyes.
She gathered her things and with quiet and calm dignity, walked past the woman in the living room and up the staircase to her bedroom.
Her sanctuary.
As her bedroom door closed, her once strong arms that were carrying her bag and folders, trembled causing her things to drop onto the floor with an almighty crash. Her knees buckled as she made her way almost pitifully to her bed and dropped onto it with resignation. Without quite meaning to, the tears came tenfold. Each tear represented something different, of the loneliness she felt, of the anger she had to stifle for fear of being called 'rude', of putting on a mask of happiness for the last couple of days, of missing her friends, of missing the affection she once had but had somehow lost, of wanting someone who didn't know who she was, of the strains of day-to-day life that she had to shoulder on her own, of all the uncried tears she had been keeping inside herself.
In the confines of her room, she cried.
~*~
Screw you.
You never realized it, did you?
Her eyes were dark with silent fury and resentment.
The car came to a stop and the woman beside her got out of the car, slamming the door with such force that the coins in the car rattled.
She sat there for a couple of minutes, the music still in her ears. But she didn't hear them. All she heard was the echo of the coins in her head. Tear drops fled from her dark eyes.
She gathered her things and with quiet and calm dignity, walked past the woman in the living room and up the staircase to her bedroom.
Her sanctuary.
As her bedroom door closed, her once strong arms that were carrying her bag and folders, trembled causing her things to drop onto the floor with an almighty crash. Her knees buckled as she made her way almost pitifully to her bed and dropped onto it with resignation. Without quite meaning to, the tears came tenfold. Each tear represented something different, of the loneliness she felt, of the anger she had to stifle for fear of being called 'rude', of putting on a mask of happiness for the last couple of days, of missing her friends, of missing the affection she once had but had somehow lost, of wanting someone who didn't know who she was, of the strains of day-to-day life that she had to shoulder on her own, of all the uncried tears she had been keeping inside herself.
In the confines of her room, she cried.
~*~
Screw you.
You never realized it, did you?
Monday, 9 February 2009
I'll Wait In This Dance Floor Haze
Hello rockstars and all-time divas,
I had a weird dream last night. I'm not going to go into details except to say its weird.
I've been sleeping irregularly for the last two days. Blame it on the fever that I have somehow caught from someone. No idea who. But the likely suspect is Trisher.
Lol.
Anyway, just realized there's school tomorrow.
No, please, no!
T.T
Did the last three days just flew by or what?
I miss him.
Yes. No. YES.
I should really try to concentrate on the task at hand which is, trying to finish the chemistry homework for tuition before I get seriously buggered. =S
Haven't memorized the periodic table yet.
Great, I'll get screwed either way.
I can't wait to get my new acoustic guitar. It'll be black. (:
I know black acoustic guitars seem to be overrated now but I don't care.
Basically, I'm just touching base right now before zooming off for tuition later.
Who knows I might even consider doing a second post (angels, half-bloods and John Constantine knows that I haven't done multiple posts in one day in a looooong time).....
Well, we'll see what the future brings!
Hopefully it isn't constructing chemical equations!
Laters,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: 'Number Five With A Bullet' by Taking Back Sunday
CURRENT MOOD: Sore throat + hungry + worried
I had a weird dream last night. I'm not going to go into details except to say its weird.
I've been sleeping irregularly for the last two days. Blame it on the fever that I have somehow caught from someone. No idea who. But the likely suspect is Trisher.
Lol.
Anyway, just realized there's school tomorrow.
No, please, no!
T.T
Did the last three days just flew by or what?
I miss him.
Yes. No. YES.
I should really try to concentrate on the task at hand which is, trying to finish the chemistry homework for tuition before I get seriously buggered. =S
Haven't memorized the periodic table yet.
Great, I'll get screwed either way.
I can't wait to get my new acoustic guitar. It'll be black. (:
I know black acoustic guitars seem to be overrated now but I don't care.
Basically, I'm just touching base right now before zooming off for tuition later.
Who knows I might even consider doing a second post (angels, half-bloods and John Constantine knows that I haven't done multiple posts in one day in a looooong time).....
Well, we'll see what the future brings!
Hopefully it isn't constructing chemical equations!
Laters,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: 'Number Five With A Bullet' by Taking Back Sunday
CURRENT MOOD: Sore throat + hungry + worried
Sunday, 8 February 2009
2.5 Inches of Hell
Hey gang,
My feet are dead.
Papaya! I just used four different kind of special effects on 'dead' because it's seriously effing true.
How did this happen?
Well, let us begin......
Saturday: Interact Probationer's Seminar Day/Debate Practice Day
I set my alarm clock and I have no idea how I could've slept through 'Whoa Oh (Me Vs. Everyone)' by FTSK but I somehow did so I was rushing like a mad cow on crack to the bathroom to bathe. In the midst of the rushing, I was trying to shave my legs when I accidentally cut myself with the razor. The result is a nice big cut somewhere near my ankle.
T.T
Then we were supposed to go to my Grandma's house to borrow my Aunty's court shoes because mine are hand-me-downs that are waaaay too small. So my Mum called my Grandma and my Grandma said she forgot to take it from my Aunty's house meaning, I had to somehow find a way to squeeze my feet into a pair of too-small-court-shoes with 2.5 inch heels. It almost felt like the Chinese foot binding.
You know what?
Maybe I should do some Chinese foot binding so that my feet can get into those damn court shoes!!
Anyway, I was feeling grouchy and my feet were beginning to hurt already despite it being only 8.30am in the morning. I rushed around school looking for Su Ann/Melissa/Trisher/Lilian and then went for duty which was to basically stand near the walk-way near the office and make sure no random people strayed off from the Hall.
Then Lilian and I did roundings. Saw a giant lizard fell from the ceiling. It was alright though, it quickly clambered back up the wall. LOL. Lilian thought that it was a leaf and then jumped up when she realized it was a freakin' huge lizard.
In it's defense, the lizard was cute! And c'mon, do you know how hard it is to scale walls/ceilings? Newton's Law states that the force of gravity will pull you back down!
(:
Somewhere around 9.30am (when they were having group discussion), I realized that the Registration people were going to go back home already. THEN, I remembered that Robin had texted me the night before telling me that he and a group of other La Salle-ians can only make it at 10.30am because they had Scouts in the morning.
In sequence, if the Registration people left. They would have no idea where to go (being outsiders to Sri Aman and no name tags to which colour group they're in), they would of course go wandering around the school AND Pn. Hamimah will skin the security people alive because our job is to prevent this from happening. So in a state of.....paranoia?
I took the name lists from the Registration people and sat with Lilian near the Pondok Ilmu to wait for those people.
It was only 11 something when they decided to show up. Okay fine, to be fair Robin did call me to tell me that Scouts had finished later then expected and they were on the way. I was kind of not paying attention when they arrived. Lol.
Omgd........ Ken Joe.
Freaking jumping jelly beans, he looked so hot.
I was made painfully aware of my heart beating faster and faster when I was trying to write his name on the name tag because his name wasn't listed.
But you want to know the sad part?
He doesn't freakin' remember me.
=/
Buzzkill.
Total buzzkill.
Lilian and Su Ann were basically my partner in crime for the day and Su Ann immediately noticed when I was acting all down and bothered.
Thanks Su Ann. (:
And thanks Lilian for the great laughs and company. (:
Had debate practice after that. Spent about an hour in Old Town White Coffee. Trishi was talking so loudly that everyone in the restaurant turned to stare at us. It was pretty damn funny. Then spent another three hours in Starbucks which is practically next door.
Oh, how I missed drinking ice shaken tea lemonade.
I venti-ed it because I missed it so much. :D
We couldn't stop laughing and thank God that Starbucks was mostly empty that day because I swear to you, that if you were in the shop with us at the time, you would've been seriously annoyed.
We were 'debating' so loudly and laughing so hard that I nearly spat my drink out. I didn't. So don't worry. Lol.
Oh, my account on the computer is acting gay since yesterday. Yes, my family has different accounts for each one of the members on the computer so that our 'work' doesn't mix around. But for some unforseeable reason, my account is acting GAY and keeps on hanging before I even get a chance to do anything. So I'm using my Mum's account where there aren't any of my music or pictures. So I can't post up pictures from the debate thingy nor can I listen to anything particularly good on WMP.
Thank God for YouTube.
AAAAnnndd....guess what everybody? To add up to all the retarded and stupid things that happen to me yesterday, I think I caught somebody's fever because my throat was hurting all day yesterday and when I woke up this morning. It felt like someone had run me over with All Time Low's tour bus (it was probably Alex when he was trying to get his milanos from Rian). And there are about four different cuts on each one of my foot.
Great. Just flipping, great.
Later days,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Poppin' Champagne" by All Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: Sick + tired
My feet are dead.
Papaya! I just used four different kind of special effects on 'dead' because it's seriously effing true.
How did this happen?
Well, let us begin......
Saturday: Interact Probationer's Seminar Day/Debate Practice Day
I set my alarm clock and I have no idea how I could've slept through 'Whoa Oh (Me Vs. Everyone)' by FTSK but I somehow did so I was rushing like a mad cow on crack to the bathroom to bathe. In the midst of the rushing, I was trying to shave my legs when I accidentally cut myself with the razor. The result is a nice big cut somewhere near my ankle.
T.T
Then we were supposed to go to my Grandma's house to borrow my Aunty's court shoes because mine are hand-me-downs that are waaaay too small. So my Mum called my Grandma and my Grandma said she forgot to take it from my Aunty's house meaning, I had to somehow find a way to squeeze my feet into a pair of too-small-court-shoes with 2.5 inch heels. It almost felt like the Chinese foot binding.
You know what?
Maybe I should do some Chinese foot binding so that my feet can get into those damn court shoes!!
Anyway, I was feeling grouchy and my feet were beginning to hurt already despite it being only 8.30am in the morning. I rushed around school looking for Su Ann/Melissa/Trisher/Lilian and then went for duty which was to basically stand near the walk-way near the office and make sure no random people strayed off from the Hall.
Then Lilian and I did roundings. Saw a giant lizard fell from the ceiling. It was alright though, it quickly clambered back up the wall. LOL. Lilian thought that it was a leaf and then jumped up when she realized it was a freakin' huge lizard.
In it's defense, the lizard was cute! And c'mon, do you know how hard it is to scale walls/ceilings? Newton's Law states that the force of gravity will pull you back down!
(:
Somewhere around 9.30am (when they were having group discussion), I realized that the Registration people were going to go back home already. THEN, I remembered that Robin had texted me the night before telling me that he and a group of other La Salle-ians can only make it at 10.30am because they had Scouts in the morning.
In sequence, if the Registration people left. They would have no idea where to go (being outsiders to Sri Aman and no name tags to which colour group they're in), they would of course go wandering around the school AND Pn. Hamimah will skin the security people alive because our job is to prevent this from happening. So in a state of.....paranoia?
I took the name lists from the Registration people and sat with Lilian near the Pondok Ilmu to wait for those people.
It was only 11 something when they decided to show up. Okay fine, to be fair Robin did call me to tell me that Scouts had finished later then expected and they were on the way. I was kind of not paying attention when they arrived. Lol.
Omgd........ Ken Joe.
Freaking jumping jelly beans, he looked so hot.
I was made painfully aware of my heart beating faster and faster when I was trying to write his name on the name tag because his name wasn't listed.
But you want to know the sad part?
He doesn't freakin' remember me.
=/
Buzzkill.
Total buzzkill.
Lilian and Su Ann were basically my partner in crime for the day and Su Ann immediately noticed when I was acting all down and bothered.
Thanks Su Ann. (:
And thanks Lilian for the great laughs and company. (:
Had debate practice after that. Spent about an hour in Old Town White Coffee. Trishi was talking so loudly that everyone in the restaurant turned to stare at us. It was pretty damn funny. Then spent another three hours in Starbucks which is practically next door.
Oh, how I missed drinking ice shaken tea lemonade.
I venti-ed it because I missed it so much. :D
We couldn't stop laughing and thank God that Starbucks was mostly empty that day because I swear to you, that if you were in the shop with us at the time, you would've been seriously annoyed.
We were 'debating' so loudly and laughing so hard that I nearly spat my drink out. I didn't. So don't worry. Lol.
Oh, my account on the computer is acting gay since yesterday. Yes, my family has different accounts for each one of the members on the computer so that our 'work' doesn't mix around. But for some unforseeable reason, my account is acting GAY and keeps on hanging before I even get a chance to do anything. So I'm using my Mum's account where there aren't any of my music or pictures. So I can't post up pictures from the debate thingy nor can I listen to anything particularly good on WMP.
Thank God for YouTube.
AAAAnnndd....guess what everybody? To add up to all the retarded and stupid things that happen to me yesterday, I think I caught somebody's fever because my throat was hurting all day yesterday and when I woke up this morning. It felt like someone had run me over with All Time Low's tour bus (it was probably Alex when he was trying to get his milanos from Rian). And there are about four different cuts on each one of my foot.
Great. Just flipping, great.
Later days,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Poppin' Champagne" by All Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: Sick + tired
Thursday, 5 February 2009
He'll Keep You Warm At Night
Hi music lovers and random artistic people,
I was always the kind of person who loved doing things in the rain (i.e. walking in the rain, dancing in the rain, etc.) and I can now officially cross one out of the long list. Okay, so it wasn't a boyfriend/husband that I loved and will never ever leave but it was a best friend whom I ALSO love and will never ever leave. (:
I hugged Melissa in the rain.
(:
I'm so happy. LOL. Anyway, had my first editorial meeting today. Uhm, it was rather.....
Unexpected.
We were so immerse in talking about what we were planning to do that I didn't realize an hour had passed by and I was late for my English Literature class.
Pn. Su looked like she wanted to kill me when I ran into class half an hour late.
T.T
Debate team thingy tomorrow, will be missing P.E.
:(
I wanted to have P.E.!!!
Pn. Christina, I miss you!!!!
Mel looked like she wanted to kill me when I said that I'd be missing PE. I wonder why so many people wanted to kill me today. Hmmm...
Interact Probationer's Seminar this Saturday. Sort of excited. Sort of not. Mostly because I know I should be sitting glued in front of my computer to write the third chapter for, 'Be Careful What You Wish For' for the Interact Newsletter for Su Ann who wants it this Sunday. Then I should probably get started on some of the homework that has already piled up for the weekend.
People have been asking me this so I shall answer it: No, I did not get into MRSM (yay???) but my parents are still determined to send me therefore are making me write a letter to MRSM to 'beg' them to let me in.
Honestly, I can't be bothered anymore. I'm very much happy in Sri Aman.
*sighs*
Dammit. I've got the periodic table to memorise, English lit homework for Pn. Su and a letter to draft.
Laters,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Down and Out" by The Academy Is
CURRENT MOOD: Annoyed + fed up + tired
I was always the kind of person who loved doing things in the rain (i.e. walking in the rain, dancing in the rain, etc.) and I can now officially cross one out of the long list. Okay, so it wasn't a boyfriend/husband that I loved and will never ever leave but it was a best friend whom I ALSO love and will never ever leave. (:
I hugged Melissa in the rain.
(:
I'm so happy. LOL. Anyway, had my first editorial meeting today. Uhm, it was rather.....
Unexpected.
We were so immerse in talking about what we were planning to do that I didn't realize an hour had passed by and I was late for my English Literature class.
Pn. Su looked like she wanted to kill me when I ran into class half an hour late.
T.T
Debate team thingy tomorrow, will be missing P.E.
:(
I wanted to have P.E.!!!
Pn. Christina, I miss you!!!!
Mel looked like she wanted to kill me when I said that I'd be missing PE. I wonder why so many people wanted to kill me today. Hmmm...
Interact Probationer's Seminar this Saturday. Sort of excited. Sort of not. Mostly because I know I should be sitting glued in front of my computer to write the third chapter for, 'Be Careful What You Wish For' for the Interact Newsletter for Su Ann who wants it this Sunday. Then I should probably get started on some of the homework that has already piled up for the weekend.
People have been asking me this so I shall answer it: No, I did not get into MRSM (yay???) but my parents are still determined to send me therefore are making me write a letter to MRSM to 'beg' them to let me in.
Honestly, I can't be bothered anymore. I'm very much happy in Sri Aman.
*sighs*
Dammit. I've got the periodic table to memorise, English lit homework for Pn. Su and a letter to draft.
Laters,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Down and Out" by The Academy Is
CURRENT MOOD: Annoyed + fed up + tired
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Before I Decay, I Will Make A Clean Break
Hey people,
I haven't exactly finished my blog rounds but I realized that there's no way I can complete them in such a short amount of time.
Why short amount of time?
Because my dear readers, I simply cannot keep my eyes open anymore without having to drift away anywhere but here.
Monday was full of worry/tiredness/excitement/weariness.
As predicted, Pn. Suhafna did chew me up and spit me back out in tiny little pieces. Lydiya was laughing at how what I wrote on my previous post was coming true.
I think Lydiya got freaked out by me because everytime I think she thinks too much, I'll go, "Lydiya! Stop thinking too much!"
(:
I just tend to care, Lydiya. Get used to it. I've somehow transformed into a counsellar to some people and sometimes, it's just hard to switch it off.
Anyway, Interact was interesting. Talking about Ghaza Humanitarian Fund (we're selling cupcakes), ICC (oh yes, the biggest even ever) and of course the up coming Probationer's Seminar. My head spun in so many different directions during the meeting.
Ha ha ha, something Mira said to me before the meeting just came back into my head.
Me. Mira.
The other Interact seniors are just so intimidating.
Really? o.o
Yeah, they're like *does a hissing cat sound*
*laughs*
After that I had Red House practice. We had to do trial practice for our cross-country run on the 14th of February (oh heck yes, Valentines). It was fun because I was 'running' with Sandra and Baizura. Of course when I say running, I mean, just walking typically like we're in a shopping mall (with very weird sceneries, i.e. roads, houses, hills, drains) for 5 kilometers.
I think what really lightened my mood was the fact that somewhere towards the end of the route, it began to rain really, really heavily and Baizura, Sandra and I got soaked so bad.
I love walking in the rain.
Chemistry and Physics tuition that night. An hour after Red House practice ended.
-.-
I was half-dead when I first entered the class. It was funny to see some of the 'old' students there. Speaking of 'old', I haven't seen Ken Joe in about four months now.
I'm not quite sure how I really feel about it really. Because I know that somewhere in the back of my mind, I do still have feelings for him. Although I'm doing my best to just forget him. Myra, honestly, I salute you. I can't forget about a person that easily.
I never could.
I still remember my best friends I had in std. 1 - 4 (Magdalene Lim), std. 5 (Ain Razak), std. 6 (Krishantini, Seemah, Kimberly K., Rianne & Amanda Anuja). I see them all in Sri Aman (with an exception for Krish because she's in DJ) and sometimes I just feel sad. I wonder what happened to all those happy times we had with each other.
Of course, some friendships don't exactly last forever.
We grow up, we want different things, we have different interests than what we used to have.
But the memories will live on forever, right?
Okay, Natasha, stop being so deep and emotional.
I guess I'm just so bent backwards these days. The people around me are stressing so much and me, being my typical normal self.
Will listen.
Will care.
Will hug.
Will love.
Will probably and possibly do anything and/or everything for them to ease their pain/stress.
I guess I'm all worn out and feeling like this because I realized, each one of these people have someone to care for them, to ask how their day was and all that stuff.
I was/am mostly on my own these days when it comes to loving/hugging/listening/advising/talking about serious stuff.
I'm not blaming you guys, seriously. I understand. We've all got our own lives and I do notice those people who have been talking to me and asking me if I'm okay.
But seriously, when will we actually admit our weaknesses?
I guess, this is what everyone calls growing up.
Laters,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "I Don't Wanna Fight" by Westlife
CURRENT MOOD: Tired + weary
I haven't exactly finished my blog rounds but I realized that there's no way I can complete them in such a short amount of time.
Why short amount of time?
Because my dear readers, I simply cannot keep my eyes open anymore without having to drift away anywhere but here.
Monday was full of worry/tiredness/excitement/weariness.
As predicted, Pn. Suhafna did chew me up and spit me back out in tiny little pieces. Lydiya was laughing at how what I wrote on my previous post was coming true.
I think Lydiya got freaked out by me because everytime I think she thinks too much, I'll go, "Lydiya! Stop thinking too much!"
(:
I just tend to care, Lydiya. Get used to it. I've somehow transformed into a counsellar to some people and sometimes, it's just hard to switch it off.
Anyway, Interact was interesting. Talking about Ghaza Humanitarian Fund (we're selling cupcakes), ICC (oh yes, the biggest even ever) and of course the up coming Probationer's Seminar. My head spun in so many different directions during the meeting.
Ha ha ha, something Mira said to me before the meeting just came back into my head.
Me. Mira.
The other Interact seniors are just so intimidating.
Really? o.o
Yeah, they're like *does a hissing cat sound*
*laughs*
After that I had Red House practice. We had to do trial practice for our cross-country run on the 14th of February (oh heck yes, Valentines). It was fun because I was 'running' with Sandra and Baizura. Of course when I say running, I mean, just walking typically like we're in a shopping mall (with very weird sceneries, i.e. roads, houses, hills, drains) for 5 kilometers.
I think what really lightened my mood was the fact that somewhere towards the end of the route, it began to rain really, really heavily and Baizura, Sandra and I got soaked so bad.
I love walking in the rain.
Chemistry and Physics tuition that night. An hour after Red House practice ended.
-.-
I was half-dead when I first entered the class. It was funny to see some of the 'old' students there. Speaking of 'old', I haven't seen Ken Joe in about four months now.
I'm not quite sure how I really feel about it really. Because I know that somewhere in the back of my mind, I do still have feelings for him. Although I'm doing my best to just forget him. Myra, honestly, I salute you. I can't forget about a person that easily.
I never could.
I still remember my best friends I had in std. 1 - 4 (Magdalene Lim), std. 5 (Ain Razak), std. 6 (Krishantini, Seemah, Kimberly K., Rianne & Amanda Anuja). I see them all in Sri Aman (with an exception for Krish because she's in DJ) and sometimes I just feel sad. I wonder what happened to all those happy times we had with each other.
Of course, some friendships don't exactly last forever.
We grow up, we want different things, we have different interests than what we used to have.
But the memories will live on forever, right?
Okay, Natasha, stop being so deep and emotional.
I guess I'm just so bent backwards these days. The people around me are stressing so much and me, being my typical normal self.
Will listen.
Will care.
Will hug.
Will love.
Will probably and possibly do anything and/or everything for them to ease their pain/stress.
I guess I'm all worn out and feeling like this because I realized, each one of these people have someone to care for them, to ask how their day was and all that stuff.
I was/am mostly on my own these days when it comes to loving/hugging/listening/advising/talking about serious stuff.
I'm not blaming you guys, seriously. I understand. We've all got our own lives and I do notice those people who have been talking to me and asking me if I'm okay.
But seriously, when will we actually admit our weaknesses?
I guess, this is what everyone calls growing up.
Laters,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "I Don't Wanna Fight" by Westlife
CURRENT MOOD: Tired + weary
Sunday, 1 February 2009
MICROWAVE!!!
Hi gang,
No, I seriously cannot be bothered to do my Physics folio as well as my History homework right now so screw it. I'll do it like, the night before I have class or something. =) Oh how I love procrastinating.
My stomach is churning at the idea of meeting Pn. Suhafna tomorrow, I've got a couple of overdue books which aren't my fault they are overdue BECAUSE....I was away for a week before that and had no idea what the freakin' homework was and c'mon teacher, a day to finish all the stuff you gave in the last week is never, ever enough.
So in the act of procrastinating, I'm bored and am watching some random videos on YouTube (no, go away...Buzznet hates me) entitled, 'All Time Low bought a fish'.
Which is actually, really funny to begin with.
They bought a couple of goldfishes. Alex bought one that had one bigger fin that the other, like Nemo. He said because he was afraid that if he left that one in the tank, the other fishes might eat him.
They also bought a snail and named it 'saucy'. SAUCY!
But you pronounce it like, "SHAAAW-SHEE...."
Even though it's spelt like that.
No seriously.
Lol.
Then another couple of videos of Jack and Alex in Disneyland, Los Angeles. Their friendship is so cute, I wouldn't mind being best friends with them too. I just want to huuuuug them. (:
Lol.
I didn't know there was a difference between a merry-go-round and a carousel until Matt pointed it out.
"One goes clockwise and the other goes counter-clockwise."
He scares me, he really does.
My hair feels really greasy because this new shampoo that I'm using now is so delicate that it'll last for only a day and a half before my hair gets greasy again. Unlike the old Sunsilk I used to use which would usually last me three days before having to wash my hair again.
Erm...I changed my profile picture because Sean said my old one made me look like a nurse porn star. So there you go Sean, I changed it. OH...and I'm going to start Chemistry and Physics tuition in Nirmala's tomorrow so people, prepare!!!
Because Natasha is bringing the awesome back.
(:
I shall now proceed in quoting Mark Hoppus, 'Bringing the awesome back in every day in every way.'
Or something that sounds sorta similar.
I think I'm going to be totally buggered tomorrow and I have no idea when I'm going to see the computer again.
Because first thing is school, Interact meeting in the afternoon, Red House practice in the evening, and tuition even later after that.
I should be estimated in my house at around.......10.30pm.
In my bed at around.......Midnight or 1am depending on how fast I'll be able to finish my History homework.
Then up again at 5 freakin' 30am in the morning.
Dammit, and I've got to cut my nails before tomorrow or I shall get seriously screwed by the prefects. Ha ha ha. Please, no dirty thoughts intended.
Am now having a random conversation with Trisher about whose pout is sexier. Mine or hers.
Let's have a poll and let YOU decide.
Lol.
Nah, I think polls are lame.
Click click click.....
Aaaaahhhh...
My shoulder is killing me. I think I've been spending too much time in front of the computer these last couple of days. Let's blame the frustrated angsty writer inside of me. Oh my god....
I ate like, three friggin' currypuffs for lunch and I'm friggin' hungry now.
Might make myself a cup of oats later.
HA HA HA.
I feel like about seventy years old when I said that.
Or perhaps a horse.
Am still watching Alex and Jack in Disneyland and had a random thought. It would be really sad if I had been there and walked right past them without noticing them because about every single person in Disneyland is wearing a bright and colourful T-shirt (okay so Jack was wearing black. HEY! JACK BLACK. LOL) but I think I would fall of my chair if I went home that night and they posted the video on Buzznet saying they were at Disneyland. Of course, the cherry of it all would be me, IN one of the videos, just walking past them.
-.-
Okay....
Hunger....
Killing me softly.
Laters,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Lasting Impressions" by The Starting Line
CURRENT MOOD: Hungry + wants a shower
No, I seriously cannot be bothered to do my Physics folio as well as my History homework right now so screw it. I'll do it like, the night before I have class or something. =) Oh how I love procrastinating.
My stomach is churning at the idea of meeting Pn. Suhafna tomorrow, I've got a couple of overdue books which aren't my fault they are overdue BECAUSE....I was away for a week before that and had no idea what the freakin' homework was and c'mon teacher, a day to finish all the stuff you gave in the last week is never, ever enough.
So in the act of procrastinating, I'm bored and am watching some random videos on YouTube (no, go away...Buzznet hates me) entitled, 'All Time Low bought a fish'.
Which is actually, really funny to begin with.
They bought a couple of goldfishes. Alex bought one that had one bigger fin that the other, like Nemo. He said because he was afraid that if he left that one in the tank, the other fishes might eat him.
They also bought a snail and named it 'saucy'. SAUCY!
But you pronounce it like, "SHAAAW-SHEE...."
Even though it's spelt like that.
No seriously.
Lol.
Then another couple of videos of Jack and Alex in Disneyland, Los Angeles. Their friendship is so cute, I wouldn't mind being best friends with them too. I just want to huuuuug them. (:
Lol.
I didn't know there was a difference between a merry-go-round and a carousel until Matt pointed it out.
"One goes clockwise and the other goes counter-clockwise."
He scares me, he really does.
My hair feels really greasy because this new shampoo that I'm using now is so delicate that it'll last for only a day and a half before my hair gets greasy again. Unlike the old Sunsilk I used to use which would usually last me three days before having to wash my hair again.
Erm...I changed my profile picture because Sean said my old one made me look like a nurse porn star. So there you go Sean, I changed it. OH...and I'm going to start Chemistry and Physics tuition in Nirmala's tomorrow so people, prepare!!!
Because Natasha is bringing the awesome back.
(:
I shall now proceed in quoting Mark Hoppus, 'Bringing the awesome back in every day in every way.'
Or something that sounds sorta similar.
I think I'm going to be totally buggered tomorrow and I have no idea when I'm going to see the computer again.
Because first thing is school, Interact meeting in the afternoon, Red House practice in the evening, and tuition even later after that.
I should be estimated in my house at around.......10.30pm.
In my bed at around.......Midnight or 1am depending on how fast I'll be able to finish my History homework.
Then up again at 5 freakin' 30am in the morning.
Dammit, and I've got to cut my nails before tomorrow or I shall get seriously screwed by the prefects. Ha ha ha. Please, no dirty thoughts intended.
Am now having a random conversation with Trisher about whose pout is sexier. Mine or hers.
Let's have a poll and let YOU decide.
Lol.
Nah, I think polls are lame.
Click click click.....
Aaaaahhhh...
My shoulder is killing me. I think I've been spending too much time in front of the computer these last couple of days. Let's blame the frustrated angsty writer inside of me. Oh my god....
I ate like, three friggin' currypuffs for lunch and I'm friggin' hungry now.
Might make myself a cup of oats later.
HA HA HA.
I feel like about seventy years old when I said that.
Or perhaps a horse.
Am still watching Alex and Jack in Disneyland and had a random thought. It would be really sad if I had been there and walked right past them without noticing them because about every single person in Disneyland is wearing a bright and colourful T-shirt (okay so Jack was wearing black. HEY! JACK BLACK. LOL) but I think I would fall of my chair if I went home that night and they posted the video on Buzznet saying they were at Disneyland. Of course, the cherry of it all would be me, IN one of the videos, just walking past them.
-.-
Okay....
Hunger....
Killing me softly.
Laters,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "Lasting Impressions" by The Starting Line
CURRENT MOOD: Hungry + wants a shower
It's Cool When They Piss People Off With What They Wear
Hello people of the world...
It has been six days since my Dougie Poynter Withdrawal as I am now calling it. Five days since my Alex Gaskarth Syndrome has began.
I know I really shouldn't be counting because it isn't going to help. I feel like a smoker who has suddenly stopped smoking, cold turkey.
My mind is constantly dizzy, perhaps from lack of sleep.....or something. I have no idea. I'm like that Starting Line song, 'In self-defense I won't sleep a wink to prevent dreaming of you'.
My hands are shaking every time I try to type a word out.
I took down the Dougie poster/picture thing I had above my bed. I'm thinking twice about hanging my McFly calendar because I finally have a hammer in the house to nail the damn thing to my wall but......I can't bring myself to look at his face. =/
Things are not so great in Natasha's world right now.
I tried writing my fan fiction about All Time Low, and I was talking to Baizura about it. She made me feel uber guilty when she suddenly said, "I miss Danny."
Oh yes, and I shall pretend I don't miss Dougie.
I know, I know. Just because he has a girlfriend, it doesn't mean I have to give up liking him. But Frankie was like a bucket of cold reality thrown over my head. Reminding me that despite how long I've loved him, despite how much I wish to meet him....
The chances of him and I actually getting together is like....a million to one chances. And I'm no Brooke Davis. I'm not that one.
URGH.
No. No sad posts today. Today shall be a happy one. Why? Because we all would be going back to school again after ten blissful days of holiday-ing tomorrow and we need to cling onto the happy memories of holidays.
We'd all be going back to getting our minds tortured by teachers and homework, bodies aching from sports activities and house practice, shoulders cramped thanks to the amount of books we shoulder from home to school and back again in our bags.
Oh yes, our only salvation is recess and 30 minutes is never enough.
Truth be told, I'm not exactly looking forward to going to Miss Nirmala's tuition again. Mostly because I've always been insecure about the way I look (uhhh...damn the tudung and all its insecurities it brings me) AND there are new students so me being my natural-self, is beginning to feel the pressure to impress and be accepted. As per usual.
Oh my life is the freakin' pinnacle of a teenage cliche, isn't it?
Anyway, we're supposed to bring our Interact uniform tomorrow and I'm not sure if my court shoes fit me anymore. They're a hand-me-down from my Aunty so its a bit old and scuffed up but seeing as we aren't really going to use it often. Speaking of which, I should probably try to get that tie from Mel. Hmmm......
I just realized that Probationer's Seminar is next Saturday. LOL. I'm Salwa's assistant for the PA system and technics. Appropriate for someone who aspires to be an audio engineer someday.
I haven't finished my Phsyics folio and to be perfectly honest, I am so not bothered. Its halfway done but the other half is really killing me (understanding force and conclusion/questions). Oh, I might not be getting a new phone so I'm stuck with that stupid retarded Supernova. I hate it. I wish it would just jump into a hole and die. -_-"
*big, HUGE,, siiiiigh*
You would think they were about to infiltrate the CIA.
L-R: Zack, Jack, Alex & Rian.
*credits to Photobucket*
Laters,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "The Girl's A Straight Up Hustler" by All Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: Annoyed.
It has been six days since my Dougie Poynter Withdrawal as I am now calling it. Five days since my Alex Gaskarth Syndrome has began.
I know I really shouldn't be counting because it isn't going to help. I feel like a smoker who has suddenly stopped smoking, cold turkey.
My mind is constantly dizzy, perhaps from lack of sleep.....or something. I have no idea. I'm like that Starting Line song, 'In self-defense I won't sleep a wink to prevent dreaming of you'.
My hands are shaking every time I try to type a word out.
I took down the Dougie poster/picture thing I had above my bed. I'm thinking twice about hanging my McFly calendar because I finally have a hammer in the house to nail the damn thing to my wall but......I can't bring myself to look at his face. =/
Things are not so great in Natasha's world right now.
I tried writing my fan fiction about All Time Low, and I was talking to Baizura about it. She made me feel uber guilty when she suddenly said, "I miss Danny."
Oh yes, and I shall pretend I don't miss Dougie.
I know, I know. Just because he has a girlfriend, it doesn't mean I have to give up liking him. But Frankie was like a bucket of cold reality thrown over my head. Reminding me that despite how long I've loved him, despite how much I wish to meet him....
The chances of him and I actually getting together is like....a million to one chances. And I'm no Brooke Davis. I'm not that one.
URGH.
No. No sad posts today. Today shall be a happy one. Why? Because we all would be going back to school again after ten blissful days of holiday-ing tomorrow and we need to cling onto the happy memories of holidays.
We'd all be going back to getting our minds tortured by teachers and homework, bodies aching from sports activities and house practice, shoulders cramped thanks to the amount of books we shoulder from home to school and back again in our bags.
Oh yes, our only salvation is recess and 30 minutes is never enough.
Truth be told, I'm not exactly looking forward to going to Miss Nirmala's tuition again. Mostly because I've always been insecure about the way I look (uhhh...damn the tudung and all its insecurities it brings me) AND there are new students so me being my natural-self, is beginning to feel the pressure to impress and be accepted. As per usual.
Oh my life is the freakin' pinnacle of a teenage cliche, isn't it?
Anyway, we're supposed to bring our Interact uniform tomorrow and I'm not sure if my court shoes fit me anymore. They're a hand-me-down from my Aunty so its a bit old and scuffed up but seeing as we aren't really going to use it often. Speaking of which, I should probably try to get that tie from Mel. Hmmm......
I just realized that Probationer's Seminar is next Saturday. LOL. I'm Salwa's assistant for the PA system and technics. Appropriate for someone who aspires to be an audio engineer someday.
I haven't finished my Phsyics folio and to be perfectly honest, I am so not bothered. Its halfway done but the other half is really killing me (understanding force and conclusion/questions). Oh, I might not be getting a new phone so I'm stuck with that stupid retarded Supernova. I hate it. I wish it would just jump into a hole and die. -_-"
*big, HUGE,, siiiiigh*
You would think they were about to infiltrate the CIA.
L-R: Zack, Jack, Alex & Rian.
*credits to Photobucket*
Laters,
Tash.
CURRENT SONG: "The Girl's A Straight Up Hustler" by All Time Low
CURRENT MOOD: Annoyed.
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