No Holding Back

"Fake a smile, avert disaster just in time."




It's hard to tell someone you like them. It's harder to tell someone you don't like them. It's harder still when you like two people and you can't choose between them.
I don't want to choose but I know I have to. If I ever ended up with one of them....it'd be unfair. To him.




But as I said....I don't want to choose. I've tried. And tried again. Now I think I've screwed things up so bad.
It's not fair. Every time I see Aisha and Brandon hug it's like.....a little piece of my heart is breaking. I want that. No, not Brandon. -.-
No thanks.
No, I want.....want that.
To be able to love someone and have someone love me back.
To know that when I fall, I'm not going to keep on falling.
To have someone other than my best friends care.
To have those little smiles of affection for.




I said goodbye to one of them today. He didn't hear me. At least, I think he didn't. It doesn't matter. My legs turned to jelly and I stumbled to the back of the room, holding my tears back.
They passed by Trisher. I stood there transfixed.
One of them passed by Baizura. The voice in my head was screaming.
Can't anyone see how lost I am?




"Will you sleep tonight? Will you think of me? Will I shake this off, pretend it's all okay?"




I've tried.
I've tried to smile and I've tried to hide it. But in the end, the only person I'm still hurting is myself.
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah........




But this I swear to myself. I won't ever, ever hurt them. Him. Or him.




"It's more than a habit. I'm more than an addict."
I'm HOOKED.
-.-
Screw this.




MOOD: Tired.
CURRENT SONG: "Comatose" by Skillet




P/s: Hey Taylor, too lazy for an e-mail. Miss you too.